Sunday, August 16, 2015

The criminal’s alphabet

Can’t tell your turtles from your hotplate hamsters? Wise up with this indispensable guide to prison slang

Porridge, prison comedy
Fletcher (Ronnie Barker, on left), fellow prisoner Godber (Richard Beckinsale) and prison officer Mackay (Fulton Mackay) in the BBC television series, Porridge. Photograph: PA

Across the pavement

To go across the pavement is criminal parlance for robbing banks and security vans. The Wembley Mob (a gang of bank robbers from the late 1960s and early 70s) pioneered the method of driving the getaway vehicle up on to the pavement outside a bank and blocking the entrance. They were known as a “crash-bang gang” – they would rely on the element of surprise by “crashing” the bank doors open and then firing a shotgun into the ceiling in order to elicit fear and compliance.

April

A weapon, as in April fool = tool. If a villain tells you he is going to sort you out with his April, don’t think: “Well, it’s only June now so I’ve got plenty of time.” It means they are going to get a weapon and intend to inflict serious injury on you.

Baron

An old-fashioned term for the prisoner who would run the black market on each prison wing. It dates back to the days when tobacco was the only currency in prison and whoever had access to large amounts of “snout” could virtually control their wing.

Battle taxi

Any police vehicle used to transport riot squad officers to an incident or protest; the name derives from the fact that the officers are hyped up and ready to face “the enemy”.

Bed and breakfast

A night in the punishment block before appearing in front of the governor for adjudication, or an overnight stay in any prison while en route to another one.
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