Thursday, January 10, 2013

The best crap book covers


A new blog is picking out the best of the worst author-designed book covers, and it's gloriously awful stuff

Immortyl Kisses
Never judge a book by its cover ... detail from the artwork for Immortyl Kisses by BK Walker

I've said it before and I'll say it again: I love crap book covers. And my favourite romance blog Smart Bitches Trashy Books has just pointed me in the direction of a glorious new source of awfulness: Lousy Book Covers (tagline: "Just because you CAN design your own book cover doesn't mean you SHOULD").

The site is aptly named. My eyes are still hurting from Elfthade, while Spending Christmas with a Yeti is a dire warning about the dangers of clip art. There's Reach for the Moon, "with your horribly deformed appendage", as the site's author Nathan Shumate puts it, Hell's Christmas – which actually reminds me of those Point Horror books I used to read – and for sheer, brilliant randomness, The Churning Cauldron, complete with a fire, an elephant, a donkey and the White House. I'm so intrigued by this last one that I'm going to find out what it's actually about – ah, I see. "There are those, who believe so strongly in an ideal or concept that it consumes their very soul. 'The Deacon', a retired Green Beret, is one such person. He has decided that this nation of ours is in rapid decline and he plans to save it from a totally destructive Administration as well as it's [sic] other problems by whatever means possible, He has teamed up with several old friends with like backgrounds and they set out to… in their words 'Save Lady Liberty'." Good lord.

Anyway, the site has recently become a bit of a viral hit, "all because of one thin-skinned author who found her work here and made a stink about it", says Shumate. The author? Shannon McRoberts, who objected to the inclusion of her book Athine Verses: The Blood Sisters among other "lousy" covers.
Sympathy, alas, is in short supply. "If you can't take the heat, stay out of Photoshop," as one respondent put it. "I think I'm going to get that on a T-shirt," agreed Shumate.
Anyway, enjoy … and if that's not enough for you, a Polish correspondent has been inspired by Shumate to track down the worst of Polish book covers, and it is a revelation.

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