Saturday, October 06, 2012

World's worst book covers: would these make their authors cry?


As Henry James gains guns and Jack London meets RoboCop, it's not only science fiction novels that are getting the covers they never deserved

Thursday 4 October 2012 -

RoboCop book cover

Novel approach ... RoboCop inspires Tutis artwork for Jack London. Photograph: Cine Text/Allstar/Sportsphoto Ltd

I have spoken before of my love for the website Good Show Sir, which collects the best of the worst science fiction covers out there: check out The Wild Alien Tamer, which comes with the wonderful caption: "As if the creature in the star-spangled thong isn't enough, I find my eyes drawn to the creature at the rear: "'What are you gonna do? I'm a giant bat, bitches!'"


But this morning, Bookslut has, joyfully, shown me that it isn't only science fiction novels that get covers they truly don't deserve. It pointed me towards the Caustic Cover Critic blog and its excellent takedown of Tutis, aka "the world's most incompetent 'publisher' of classics". Honestly, these covers are beyond belief, from the literal take on The Turn of the Screw to this Mills & Boonesque Balzac.

"Marvel at Tutis's intense campaign to humiliate Henry James," writes Caustic Cover Critic JRS Morrison, pointing to, among others, an incomprehensible version of Daisy Miller carrying a gun – "Henry James meets Red Dawn, coming soon from those tedious shitheads who brought you Pride & Prejudice & Zombies & Jane Eyre & Erotica & Vampires & Haemorrhoids". Delving deeper, we are brought Jack London through the lense of RoboCop, and an edition of Kim that defies comprehension. "At heart," says Morrison, "it's just a simple story about multicoloured zombies with Walkmen." Indeed.


These covers couldn't possibly be crazier – Treasure Island on bikes? – and I am strangely besotted with them. Tutis are, apparently, a digital print-on-demand press – and although they don't seem to be around any more (their site here has vanished), their books are all over the place. A search reveals many, many more excitingly awful jackets. I've never collected anything before, but I'm tempted to begin now. As Morrison puts it: "I literally cannot fathom the thought processes behind these covers. They're a perfect mix of ineptitude, inappropriateness, possible copyright violation, and sheer demented anti-genius." Could anything top this version of Cranford?

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